Surviving by the Minute Week

I will not deny that this has been a rough week so far emotionally and for no reason other than I'm just trying to stay above the water. I think it is a combination of the weather, the continued fight with this sinus pressure/bronchitis, a lack of motivation, and reality that has me here.

I am sure the weather has been a huge instigator. I hate not being able to step outside if I want. The cold air aggravates my bronchitis so doing so is not a good thing for me. Even if I did go outside, what's there to see? Yes the snow is beautiful... the day it falls but then it quickly becomes nasty and slushy. Heck this last snow we had never did get that beautiful look because the ground was so wet it went instantly to slush. I am ready to see the flowers bloom and the trees come back. I am ready to sit out on the front porch to write my blog again. Soon enough I hope. We are supposed to be in the upper 40s to lower 50s this weekend. I just hope it stays there and doesn't end up in the teens again next week.

My sinus/bronchitis issues continue. I've been fighting them in one degree or another since before Christmas. Bronchitis really sucks when you get it ongoing and yearly. My son and I have both been down with it most of winter and only spring will end it for us. Come on Spring!!!

The lack of motivation comes as no surprise. The timing is definitely normal and with feeling cruddy from the sinus it is pretty much expected. Otherwise, a ton of things are probably not helping the issue any when you look at everything going on in my life right now. I'm hoping to nip this in the backside again real soon.

Reality is probably weighing on me as much or more than anything else. The reality has always been there it just sometimes is a little stronger. Every now and then I get into swings where I start down a new avenue of thought and this just happens to be one of those times. The avenue isn't always a bad one to explore. I would have never discovered Gamma Knife if I hadn't explored its avenue but sometimes it is tough to read what is before you and realize that it all applies to you. So what has been my latest avenue? Something I probably should have explored long ago... How to cope with the changes that are likely to be caused over time with my tumor. Don't read this wrong. I don't feel there is any need for this at this very minute but at the same time the reality is that I have something in my head that can be as large as 6 cm and it's not causing me any problems yet. When is it going to start? It could start years from now, months from now, weeks from now, or tomorrow. I am one that likes to be prepared. Thus why this is something I NEED to do NOW. When I am done doing my research, all will be well and I'll continue to not think about it. In the meantime, I just need to deal with my current reality and continue to take steps forward.

I won't lie and say that is the only reality currently affecting me. There are others, based off decisions I have made, that are also sinking in right now. Recent events have just brought them to light.

Ok, this is sounding more depressing than I really am so it's time to end this download. *Huggles*