Poem - Fly High Little Ones

To start this post, if you are not a long time reader of my blog, I encourage you to read about another amazing little boy who touched my life very early on in my journey. You can read about King Julian here and here.

I have continued to follow Julian's Carepage as his mom let's us in on the world of Childhood Cancer and her own feelings as she copes with the loss of her baby. She is an amazing woman. This morning she made a post about Coleman's Celebration of Life in which she was able to attend and she shared with us a poem she had written after Julian earned his wings. She has granted me permission to share it with you as well.

The Day I Buried My Son
By Mimi Avery

The sun was beautiful that day
The wind pretty chilly…
People came from afar,
To celebrate his life.

He was so little
But his heart so big,
He touched so many ,
He helped them find God.

His smile was like no other,
Brightening the darkest souls,
His eyes shared the biggest secrets,
On how life was all worth it.

But on that day ,
That cold but sun filled day,
Our hearts were aching,
His eyes were closed.

Smiles only appeared thru tears,
As we stared at his sweet face.
We were all standing together,
With very little understanding .

Why do loving little boys,
Full of beauty and strength ,
Have to leave theirs mothers,
fathers and brothers way too early.

Balloons went up to Heaven,
Faces turned up to the sky,
Beautiful, bittersweet times,
Fly high little ones…

Surrounded by so many ,
Friends, family , strangers,
All gathered around…
Why this overwhelming feeling of loneliness?

The sun was brightly shining ,
The tears freely flowing
My world stopped turning,
The day I buried my son…

Posted in honor of Julian Avery and Coleman Larson

I know many of you have been following Coleman's story with me. For those that want to help do something about it you can join the fight by joining or supporting the following sites:

People Against Childhood Cancer (PAC2).
CureSearch
People Against Childhood Cancer
Alex's Lemonade Stand
St. Baldricks
Rally Foundation for Childhood Cancer Research
Childhood Brain Tumor Foundation
Texas Children's Hospital
Duke University Medical School
Issac's Foundation - Sign the Petition for Gold Ribbon Support
LIVESTRONG

My Little Inner Strength, Coleman

Coleman on left, Caden on right with their Mom and Dad in New York

Ok, so I have mentioned this little guy a few times in the year since I've been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Some would probably say I'm wrong to dwell in the lives of these young soldiers who are traveling the same path as me, but in reality, when I feel I don't want to fight any more, I think of those who fight with all they have. One of these little pillars is Coleman Larson. The way I found his Carepage is quite a story on it's own but that isn't important in this story. What is important is that God sent me to him knowing that my strength could come from this little man's story.

I have received permission from his mom to share his story with you. I am honored to do so. Coleman's story began almost a year before my own, in September of 2006. Coleman and his twin brother Caden were 2 1/2 at the time. His mom describes his tumor as being the size of a tangerine which would be not much different in size than my own. After his surgery, it was determined that Coleman had a Medulloblastoma or a cancerous brain tumor that is a common type in children.

Coleman's second stop was chemo, which he took for a year. Unfortunately, he would have a relapse exactly one year after his initial diagnosis. This time there were two tumors and it had appeared in his spinal fluid as well.

This was about the time I began following Coleman. I prayed for him as he went through radiation (I'm working on a more detailed entry on radiation and when you'll read it you'll see how remarkable Coleman is to handle this as a "not quite 4 year old") and cried and prayed when he did his stem cell transplant. If ever I thought that my own journey was not worth fighting for, his process showed me that I could not give up.

Just a few months ago, tumors were found in Coleman's spine and it was found again in his spinal fluid. Coleman is now undergoing another form of chemo in the hopes of beating this beast yet again.

To take a section from Coleman's CarePage:

Coleman has taught us all that ATTITUDE and FAITH can make a big difference in how you choose to deal with cancer. HE has taught us the true meaning of determination. Cancer takes away so much, but it can't take away the amazing spirit Coleman has displayed each and every chapter of his journey.

Coleman says, "some day I won't need NO more meds or pokes, wight mommy? THEN I tan be NO-MAL!" Amen to that, but I don't think this kid will ever be described as NORMAL, he's way too special for that!

I don't think I could have given this small section justice but this is exactly what I've learned from Coleman.

I do need to give a shoutout as well to Coleman's Big Brother Caden. (He is 1 minute older than Coleman) Caden, like Coleman, is a gentleman beyond his years. I often read stories of how Caden will allow Coleman to get away with things, get him things, etc and you can tell how much he worries about his brother every picture you see of them.

The reason I put this out here is two-fold. One is to introduce you to the young man that has been my strength when I am unsure if I have fight left. The other is to introduce you to the real tragedy out there and that is Childhood Cancer. Please do what you can to help our littlest warriors.

*Huggles*

PS. If you find it in your heart, send a prayer up for Coleman and his family as they journey through chemo again.

PSS. Thank you Team Larson for your permission to publish your story!!!

Let's Help Support Childhood Cancer

I know this is late going out and I apologize. Like so many important things I've needed to do over the past several weeks, this was put on the back burner due to my inability to focus or get motivated. For that, I apologize because this something that I feel strongly about and wish I could have done more.

Childhood Cancer is massively underfunded in the world of cancers. The month of September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month and if you see someone wearing a Golden ribbon, this is the reason. Many of my inspiration to fight comes from these young warriors who are fighting anything from brain cancer to leukemia. Some have lost their battle and won their angel wings, others continue the fight until that cure can be found. I am going to send a message to the moms of one of my favorite little warriors to get permission to share his story. I think you will be as touched by this little guy as I have been. Several times, when I have felt like I can't move on, I ask myself what Coleman would do and I think about his may prayers to "Gawd". He's truly a dear who has dealt with a cancerous brain tumor for almost half of his young life.

Sorry, I got sidetracked there. I hope some of you see this into this final weekend of September and think about this if you are heading out to a nice meal away. Chili's is donating a portion of all proceeds to St. Judes to help fight Childhood Cancer and on the 29th, they will donate all of their profit to it. Let's help this fight everyone.

I love you all.

Brain Tumor Awareness Week - Wrap-up

To wrap up this week on Brain Tumor Awareness I wish to give some statistics on what is going on in the world of brain tumors.

More than 200,000 people will be diagnosed with a brain tumor this year. Most of these tumors will be metastatic tumors that come from cancer in other areas of the body. However, 40,000 of these tumors will be primary brain tumors.

Brain tumors are the LEADING cause of death in children under the age of 20 and the third leading cause of death in young adults.

14 of every 100,000 people will be diagnosed with a primary brain tumor. (Not tumors coming from cancers elsewhere.)

Brain tumor research is severely underfunded and the survival rates remain significantly lower than those of other types of cancer.

Now I have a question for you and if you are so inclined, I wish you to post a comment with the answer. Other than what you have read in my blog or for those that know me in person what you have heard me say... how many times this week did you hear anything on Brain Tumor Awareness Week? Now tell me, how many times a week do you hear things on other cancers such as breast cancer?

Brain Tumor Awareness Week - Staging

Brain tumors are classified according to the WHO (World Health Organization) system.

Tumors are classified by observations made concerning the appearance of the cells, its tendency to infiltrate into other areas and, its rate of growth. The classification of brain tumors is primarily an observance by a neuro-pathologist and can be classified differently by two different pathologists. Therefore, classification is not always easily determined. Furthermore, a single tumor can have cells of multiple classifications. In this case, the entire tumor is classified as the highest discovered grade found.

Benign Tumors

Grade One

A grade one tumor has cells that are mostly normal in appearance. The cells are extremely slow growing and are even sometimes classified as a birthmark within the brain. The long term survival with a Grade One tumor is extremely good.

Grade Two

A grade two tumor has slightly more of an abnormal look but still appears mostly normal. This type of tumor has the potential to invade into other areas of the brain but are mostly of a slow growing type. A grade two has a much higher tendency of developing or recurring into a higher grade tumor.

Malignant Tumors

Grade Three

A grade three tumor is actively growing and comprises of mostly abnormal cells. It has the tendency of invading surrounding tissue and has the strong possibility of returning as a higher grade tumor.

Grade Four

A grade four tumor is the most aggressive type of brain tumor. It is made of abnormal cells that reproduce at a very high rate of speed. This tumor rapidly invades surrounding brain tissue and actually produces its own bloodflow so it can maintain its rapid pace.

As you can see, there are very distinct differences between the benign and malignant tumors. One of the things that should be noted about the malignant tumors is that they are usually shown as enhanced in MRIs when given a contrast injection. This means they take in the gadolinium very quickly and therefore appear brighter in the MRI.

Brain Tumor Awareness Week - Benign

In continuation of the Brain Tumor Awareness discussion I would like to address the word benign in relation to brain tumors.

With tumors found in other areas of the body, the word benign is the best words that you can hear. With tumors in the brain, benign just means you have a different set of obstacles before you. Let's first explore, what is a tumor?

A tumor is an area where there is growth of normal or abnormal cells beyond that which is necessary. Typically a benign tumor is made of normal cells that reproduce very slowly. A malignant tumor is made of abnormal cells that can quickly reproduce.

A tumor in the brain can put pressure on very sensitive areas of the brain, causing a wide variety of symptoms. Because of this, a benign tumor in a sensitive area of the brain can cause just as much damage as a malignant tumor in a "safe" area of the brain. This is what causes benign tumors of the brain to be just as deadly as those which are malignant. It's a phenomenon that is unlike most other tumors found in the body.

A good thing about primary brain tumors (tumors that originate in the brain) is that they very rarely spread outside of the brain to other areas of the body. Occasionally a brain tumor will spread down the cerebral column into the spinal cord but it is extremely rare for it to extend beyond that.

This information is why even a benign tumor should be removed if it is in a location that is "safe". In most cases, no further treatment is needed beyond surgery for benign tumors, however, with a primary brain tumor's tendency to change grade and return, the patient should be watched for the rest of their life following the discovery of a brain tumor.

Brain Tumor Awareness Week - Signs

In honor of brain tumor awareness week I am going to make a few blog posts that are along the lines of awareness. So here goes the second in the series... Signs.

The signs of a brain tumor a wide and varied. Remember that no two tumors are alike and therefore no two people will experience the same symptoms... or in my case any symptoms at all. Here are some of the common symptoms that eventually lead to a brain tumor discovery:

• Change in headaches
  
• Headaches that become more frequent and severe
  
• Headaches that are worse in the morning
• Vision problems such as double vision, blurred vision, or loss of peripheral vision
  
• Loss of sensation or movement in the limbs on one side of the body
• Balance difficulties
• Nausea or vomiting with no apparent cause
• Speech problems such as slurred speech, using words out of context, or the inability to find the appropriate word
  
• Personality or behavior changes
• Confusion
• Seizures
• Hearing loss
• Memory loss
  
• Any of the above symptoms in connection with a headache

These symptoms are also common in many other illnesses. If you experience any of the above, you should seek out your doctor so that tests can be run.