Thursday, August 23, 2007

Beginnings - Research and my Online Friends

I love my online friends. Many of us have been through many ordeals together from illnesses and deaths to fighting depression and handling loved ones. Some I have known for many years, others for just a few, and still others I've met in real life and become even better friends with. I frequent some of these groups and even a short absence would make them wonder, so I knew I needed to at least let them know something was up. Others were not only good friends but they have a connection directly with God, for when they pray... he answers.

I made the decision that these groups needed to know. I posted a few threads via posts, journals, or otherwise telling them of my newest dilemma. As I knew they would, prayers immediately went up and the overwhelming sense of calm that overcame me told me that I would be taken care of. It meant a lot to me to know I had so many wonderful souls out there praying for my good health. My online groups may never fully know how much they mean to me, but the give me a new existence each and every day.

Besides informing those who know me unlike anyone else, I spent a lot of time researching all I could about my tumor. Honestly, I was probably better off not but it was the part of me that needed to know something, even if it was the wrong thing. The information I was finding was so varied in its results I wasn't sure what to believe, but what I did know was that the numbers I was seeing was indicating 6 months to 15 years. Now I kept reminding myself that those numbers are for people that find this thing because they had symptoms that caused them to have tests. Here I was having had no symptoms. It didn't necessarily make me feel better but it helped me keep my positive attitude... the attitude that was scaring many of the people around me.

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