Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Beginnings - More than She Bargained For

I did make one more phone call on my way home that afternoon. (Don't worry I used a hands-free device) I called my best friend of about 15 years. Her and I had been through a lot together and it just didn't seem right that she shouldn't be one of the first people to know.

Ok, detour... I can see the question already. Why did you not tell your family first? Your mom? Your dad? Anyone? Well, you see, at this point in time, my goal was to wait until I'd spoken with the neurosurgeon to tell them so that I had answers to the many questions I knew would be asked and so that I had a plan formulated in my mind. I knew how all the above people would react and I wasn't ready for that. These plans would change a bit but I'll explain that later.

Back to my best friend. I know that I terrified her when I called her in the middle of the day. I never do that. But when I asked her if she was home, if she was alone with her kids, and then told her to sit down, I know for a fact I had her wondering what in the world was going on. I proceeded to tell her what had happened that day. I can't honestly tell you if she was surprised at it all, scared about it all, or just in shock. We really didn't talk all that much because we were interrupted by my husband but I do know she was concerned and it bothered me that I didn't have a way of easing her fears. This wasn't our first rodeo together so we both knew what we were up against and that I would be seeking her out a lot in the next few days.

Sure enough, her and I spent several hours on the phone the next day tossing every possible scenario out there and determining how to handle it. She didn't freak out on me when I'd get into my modes of, "Will you take care of my boys for me"and "Please make sure John doesn't do something he'll regret". She knew it was my fears vocalizing in my own unique way. We weren't best friends just because, there was a reason. She may never know just how much she means to me.

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