The Month in Review... March

Hello Everyone.

The statement for the month... Yes, I'm crazy. :)

• I am 9 months past the resection of my brain tumor/cancer.
• It has been 5 months since the completion of radiation.
• I am one month past the great news that everything is stable.

Medically - I'm very happy to say that twice this month I have not had any type of medical appointment to attend!!! After having some sort of appointment every week since August of 2007, this has been a huge milestone for me. It has been nice not having to worry about arranging work schedules or making up time in order to go to the doctor.

My two trouble teeth are gone and I'm not having any problems with where they were. I have to wait until the 20th of April to get my partial because they insist on doing my filling the same day. (On a tooth that doesn't bother me and the filling looks so tiny it's almost not worth it but since the dental insurance has changed and you can only do one every 6 months... I'll let them do it so they don't "need" to do more than one during a six month window.) *rolls eyes* Now I know why I avoided dentist offices for as long as I did.

Emotionally - Everything is going well here. I've got good control of myself despite the additional strain of the work situation. (I'll explain a bit later)

Mentally - I continue to see improvement in this category. The other day I was able to increase a large portion of my stats again in Big Brain Academy for the Wii. I haven't increased my stats for quite some time so that felt good. I've also managed to get a big of my calculations back down. For a while after surgery I could not calculate for anything but I'm getting back to it now. This pleases me.

I'm still not back to myself when it comes to analyzing numbers. This does bother me some but I keep hoping it's more because I have other things I'd rather do and not so much that I just can't do. I used to be "budget beware" but now it's down to just what has to be done to manage our money. I think this is the first time since John and I were married that I did not find the need to do our taxes a dozen different ways and both electronically and by hand. (Yes, I was a bit obsessive.) :)

Physically - Things are still going well here. Right now John and I are on a spring cleaning rampage and are working on lots of projects that have been put off for WAY too long. I've got good energy and I'm keeping up with him physically so that is a good thing. I haven't done wiifit in a while so that I can work on the house after work but I look to get back into it and walking in the next month or so to get ready for the Relay. I am working on setting goals for myself on how many laps I want to walk in a single hour at the Relay.

Work/Family/Play - Work has been... to say the least... stressful. We have lost some big accounts at work and with the downslide of the economy the outlook isn't looking too positive. They have decided to do week long plant shutdowns. I am currently on one of the two that they have already announced. The other will come the week before Easter. Part of me doesn't mind. I have budgetted for this very type of thing so John and I will not be hurt too bad financially. We may just need to put some projects off a little longer. However, I've been getting a ton of stuff done that I haven't had time to do. Between the spring cleaning, Relay, the Pampered Chef party for Relay, doctor's appointments, dance, etc... it's been chaotic and I've been running like a mad woman. I'm slowly getting things caught up and I am happy about my progress so we'll see where I am at the end of this first layoff.

The meds have helped my son tremendously with his school work. He had not missed an assignment since going on it and his grades have improved as well. Hopefully this quarter he can stay on the right foot and not dig a hole that he will have to work his way out of. His spring soccer started Monday night and his first game is Saturday. Both of my soccer mom buddies have kids on his team so I don't have to sit around bored at practices this season. The only issue is that it's on the same night as Relay For Life meetings so I have to be two places at once. We'll work it out.

John has been very busy at work and has already started working Saturdays. I don't mind because it gives me the morning to work around the house... although this week I may wish for it to not be there since I have had that opportunity all week.

We have not been dancing in quite some time. Unfortunately the last couple dances one of us has been sick. (I something similar to the flu one dance and my son had sinus/bronchitis the other dance.) We'll get back out there at some point I am sure.

In other news, I turned 30 on March 15th. I've decided that 30 isn't all that bad but the first week of it I could have done without. I was sick Wednesday and Thursday, the layoffs were announced Wednesday, and we spent Saturday night at the clinic with JJ. So far this week has been better. *knock on wood*

Relay - We are wrapping up a VERY successful fundraiser for Relay For Life. With the host percentage and the 10% that our consultant is graciously donating of her commission we are looking to make around $300 for the Relay with our Pampered Chef Party. The party is still open until 6 PM on the 31st if you are interested in any items. Just go to: www.pamperedchef.biz/loucarm and put in my name as the host. Any product you order will result in a total of $25 going to the Relay.

Our Relay For Life team is doing very well as a whole. We have raised over $1200 of our now $4000 goal. I'm very excited about our progress. If you are interested in donating, you can do so by going to: http://main.acsevents.org/goto/dreamcatcher . All of your donations are greatly appreciated and it all goes to defeating the beast we call cancer!!! Every little bit helps!!!

Well, I hope this has been a satisfactory update. We've been majorly busy but nothing seriously to report unless you want a run-down of all the things we've accomplished around the house this month but even I wouldn't want to know all of that!!!

Hope this finds everyone well. I'm off this week so don't hesitate to bug me!

It's One of Those Days

This post will be living proof that I don't always have things together and I do have my bad days. A big warning that this may be will be a bit a lot whiny.

As if dealing with brain cancer and the constant uncertainty that comes with it, other things in my life have decided to take a dump on me as well. Part of this is my fault. I am the one that screwed up our home network to the point that it needed to be rebuilt, thus making my ability to connect to the outside world become almost completely useless. You would think that one of my two Internet connections in my home would work on my laptop. One will work only when it feels like it and the other requires me to sit away from the rest of the family to use it. I guess this is why I need to hurry up and finish my darn network rebuild. This wouldn't be a big issue because I've got lots of other things I need to be doing but today I'm home sick.

Not sure what I'm down with but it has whipped my @ss at this point. I want to believe it is bronchitis and it is just whipping me more because of my weakened system. I slept for over 12 hours last night and felt like the walking dead when I did get up. I just wish someone would drive this semi off of my chest and take the vise off of my head. That's all I'm asking. The turn of the handle and a set of keys!!!

I guess the next part can be taken in one of two ways depending on how you look at it. They are going on plant shutdown next week at work. We will basically get laid off for a week, come back, and then be laid off for another week. I guess if I wasn't the budget nut I am, I'd be freaking out about it but as much as it will set some of our plans back a bit... it won't hurt us for now. Instead, I guess I get a total of two extra weeks to get some things done. Maybe I'll get the network back up next week so I can quit complaining. Maybe I'll spend it all trying to get well from whatever is going on with me right now. Maybe I'll do what I'm actually wanting to and will be able to get some landscaping done. We'll see in the end I guess. Don't look for me out here much unless I do get the Internet sorted out. It's a huge headache to deal with and will throw me into "I don't want to" faster than anything next week.

This darn illness is going to make me miss the "fun dance" tonight for square dancing. There is no way I feel up to dancing tonight. Hopefully, I can go back to work tomorrow since I need to do a bunch of things before this shutdown. We'll just have to see how I feel. It might be a half day again or something similar unless I am feeling a ton better than I am now. Then you have the Pampered Chef party on Saturday. It will probably take all of my energy to be a gracious host that day if I am feeling like this. So I guess a fair warning to anyone coming to the party, I'm sorry if I get a bit snippy!!!

I think that's it for now. I'll try to update more at a later time. I've really been sucking at updating and I apologize. *sigh*

It's My Birthday and I'll...

Feel as young as I want to!!!!

I honestly thought that the big 3-0 would make me feel really old but honestly it hasn't made me feel near as old as my son turning 12. (or worse yet my friends' kids turning any variation of over 8.)

Truth is, I think 30 is pretty cool at this point. I honestly believed at different times last year I might not see this day so I'm not dreading it but rather enjoying it. Not everyone has the opportunity to survive the things I have by this age. I expect to be saying the same things in 10 years when I hit 40!!!

A Milestone that is Thirty

I sit here today, ten days before I start my fourth decade of life thinking about all of the things that 30 years has allowed me to do. Some of those things are positive and some are not but they all make me the almost 30 year old that writes this blog today.

In my first decade of life, I witnessed the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger upon take off on January 28, 1986. This is the first major event that I remember. You know, those things that you never forget where you were when... Then in my third decade of life I sat with my son, just a few years younger than I was for the Challenger, watching the space shuttle Columbia explode on re-entry. In three decades I saw two space shuttle disaster, of which neither I will ever forget.

I have witnessed the ridicule that comes with being a teen mom, the joy of hearing your baby giggle, the pride of watching your preteen turn into a respectable young man.

I have experienced 12 years of marriage and all of its ups and downs. I have cherished the 14 years, almost half of my life, that I have spent with my True Love. I have stood up against the odds to make sure it all worked.

I have been blessed with friends from many different levels who provide an ear to listen, encouragement to continue, and a shoulder to cry on. These friends have always appeared when I need them most with the words I need to hear. Be they for a reason, a season, or a lifetime they never fail to be there when I need them.

I have been honored with many awards and from various means. There have been physical rewards such as trophies or ribbons for writing, education, and 4H. There have been personal rewards such as a meaningful letter, a special prayer, or a note of encouragement. There have been spiritual rewards such as strength, courage, and recognition for grace under fire.

I have felt the fear, the anger, and acceptance of being diagnosed with a brain tumor and eventually cancer. I have witnessed the fear in my loved one's eyes, the respect of those that can't believe their eyes, and the tears of knowing your life is fragile. I have looked in the mirror and seen the scars of surgery, the loss of radiation, and the person who is still looking back at me and fighting.

I have been gifted the strength to endure, the knowledge to accept, the innocence to believe, and the faith to be at peace with my decisions, the crosses I've been chosen to bear, and my life.

I think the past three decades has been good to me and I wouldn't change any of it if I could.