Sunday, November 22, 2009

I Have Failed My Readers

After having some discussions in one of my support groups recently, I realized something about how my blog has changed from its original intention. My goal was to give the uncensored journey of dealing with a brain tumor in order to keep family and friends up-to-date, give valuable information and insight to those who must also take this journey, and to help others understand just what really happens along the way. Of course, the goal of all bloggers is to have people read their blog.

Ironically enough, my blog started doing these things and that's when a process that I didn't even realize took place. My nature is to protect those I care about from harm and unpleasant situations. As more people began reading my blog, I started thinking more about what they are reading and unconsciously began protecting my blog and not saying everything that really should be said. I even found myself at one point, creating a private blog on another site to get the bitter truth off my chest without taking any chances of someone reading it and suddenly growing severely concerned. In other words, I began blogging about the things you WANTED to know and not the things you NEEDED to know.

I am not going to vow to write every feeling I have, I don't have time for that. Nor am I going to even promise to write daily. However, I do promise that I will begin writing the full story and not pulling any punches along the way. Therefore, if you can not handle reading about my break-downs, issues, and the cold hard facts... I've enjoyed having you as a reader but I ask you to not read my blog in the future. Brain cancer is not an easy journey and often things are happening that only the survivor and their closest caregivers know about. Sometimes not even the caregiver knows what is going on. Therefore, I will begin my effort to start vocalizing these things that so few ever really understand unless they themselves are going through it.

So finally, I shall close the inadequate chapter of my blog and open a new one. I hope my Readers follow along with me on this journey.

"We must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

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