The Week In Review 6-28-2008...

I really am here and everything has been going well but I have to apologize profusely for the lack of updates. Truth is, I've been working on this very entry since Friday and my muse just keeps taking a hike on me. It's really no wonder I guess since I am in one heck of a drug-induced fog. (Bet most of you never thought you'd see me type those words.) Anyway, I have vowed that I will write this entry today if it's the last thing I do. Again, I apologize for lack of updates and one of my goals in getting back to normal is to start updating again regularly and see if I can get my mind on the other side of this foggy window. LOL

Medically - Well, really there hasn't been any news on the medical front and that's probably mostly my own fault because I've fallen behind a little on my "pushing" to get answers. (I'm blaming it on the fog.) There have been some minor changes in appointments and the like but I may decide to save that for another entry. Basically the next "official" step will be another trip to Chicago on July 28th (this date has changed I will update it when I get focused). On this appointment I will have my first post surgery MRI and I expect to get a bunch of questions answered that have been building up. Among these questions will be details on what was found, what was left, why things were left, what to expect now, what's our next steps, I want to see this thing, let's seek second opinions, I want my records, etc. Believe me, I plan on being out of the fog enough by then to be my typical "won't this girl just shut up now" self. :) You can bet that when I have answers, so will you.

Beyond that appointment, there are no other "official" appointments made yet although I know there will be other follow-up MRIs, etc. Only other doctors I'm seeing routinely is my therapist and my chiropractor. We're not doing treatments with my chiro while I'm on the meds and healing but he is always full of good advice and has given me a few pushes in the right direction already about listening to my body. My therapist and I are talking weekly and it's to make sure that I don't slip without anyone else noticing. He knows me very well and pick up on things that John and I may not. So far he is quite pleased and thinks I am doing just as he expected me to. It's a mental game you know and you all know I love mental games... even if I have to play them in the fog of drugs.

Emotionally - Although my world has been rocked in a big way, I am holding up very well emotionally. I have my "out of character" moments where both of the boys look at me like I've grown a second head but really they haven't been anything to unexpected. It's an adjustment going from someone who is mostly strong to someone pretty dependent but I'm not letting that get to me too much. There's been changes physically and even a little psychologically but they haven't had the toll that I expected them to have. They've been more of a nuisance than anything. Truth is, we've been very good about trying to spread some activities out and my son and I are trying to establish a routine and all of that is helping keep this girl in the right path.

Mentally - As I've said a few times already... mentally I am in a fog right now. It's not a bad fog and the truth is I expected this. I have still got very high doses of medication running through me so it's really not unexpected. I am struggling now and then to get motivated to do things that are even simple like get out of the car in less than 10 minutes. I just get my mind set to do it and decide I'm enjoying the car too much. LOL If it keeps up after the drugs are gone, then I'll worry but for now I'm learning what it is like to be my boys dealing with their ADD. It's not all that bad but I do have a new understanding for the way they think... errr don't think. Simple tasks take a bit more concentration but so be it. It's temporary.

Physically - Wow, this one is a can of worms. I feel great considering what I've been through. I have very little to no head pain still unless I do something stupid. (Don't ask it's a long story caused by my own stupidity because I knew it would cause me a problem.) Really, if I am having any pain at all from the surgery itself I think it's from the anesthesia and the like more than the type of surgery. Imagine that.

The surface swelling in my head went away almost entirely yesterday. I no longer have this nice little Klingon head developing. Other than the short hair on my right side and a nice little scab on my forehead, you'd never know I just had brain surgery. About 90% of the scabs where the incision is has healed completely and fallen off at this point. As I said, it's where they tied it all off at my forehead that is the only "vivid" scabbing right now and it looks like I did a nice little head bang on my car door or something.

The bruising on my face is almost gone as well and the bloodshot in the eye is almost invisible now. I'm guessing a few more days and John will no longer be able to take credit for beating the tar out of me. :)

Ok, that covers my head, my bruising... what else... oh, I am still pretty week but have set out this week to gain that back. I am working on my stamina a bit and trying to start rebuilding the muscle tone I've lost. When I had to stop in the middle of the steps at my therapist's office yesterday I knew it was time to start working that way again. My greatest physical pain is the toll the steroids are taking on my cartridge. I am combatting that as much as possible with Glucosomine and just working them but that will be a work in progress as long as I am on them and I know that. We still have a few more weeks... well less than two but still.

I guess still on the physical meter, as long as I'm not doing too much bending and the like I've starting taking care of the house again. It makes me have a sense of normal back so I'm not minding too much. I am pushing myself to do things for myself when I can. There are things I've found I can't do (nor do I try) and I am still not lifting anything near five pounds although I have picked up the milk jug a few times as long as it's not full. I hate feeling helpless so every little bit helps. I've found I sleep less but I rest a lot still. There really is a big difference in sleeping and just staring at a ceiling fan for an hour... believe it or not the fan is more restful.

Family - John has returned to work and has been doing ok with. I think he is happy to be back to at least semi-normal even if he does have to work a bit harder at home right now because of what I am unable to do. He has been away for quite some time since we were on vacation before surgery and then he had "vacation" when he returned. Things are slowly getting back to a routine.

I can't really speak for him but he is doing his best with what he has. John and I work in such a way that we both cater to our strengths for the most part and don't have to "deal" with our major weaknesses on a normal basis. This works for us and it's seamless so we've never had a reason to venture outside of our comfort zone with certain things. He's had to do that a lot recently and I think he's done a pretty good job even if I have had to slap him around a few times to make him think outside the box a bit. It's good for him.

Our son is doing well too. He's had a few spells of "summer crazy" already but he's had some major changes this summer so it's not too surprising. I'll also admit that the summer has been a bit boring so far but as things start getting into routine a bit I think he will start enjoying it a bit more. He has made a lot of sacrifices this summer and had to miss out on some things he probably would have enjoyed but we plan on making up for that as I get a bit stronger. I think I finally got it through to him that there is more to do in the house than play random games and watch cartoons all day. We'll see how long this revelation lasts. LOL

Play - I'm not sure how much play we've actually done but have have enjoyed a few nights out doing "unusual" things for us including visiting a small restaurant we'd never visited before. You all know I hate to spend money but we've allowed ourselves a few splurges recently. Hey you only live once and since we can't dance right now, we can use a bit of that for other stuff.

For those that are interested, we will be dropping by dance again Saturday night for a short time. A good friend has recruited me for a little project and it is just the excuse I need to get John to take me and lift my spirits again with all my lovely friends. I hope to see a bunch of you there!!!

Other plans - We do have a 4H show this week so we'll see how things go with that. I really need to get him motivated to play with his project a bit this week instead of just talking about it. Unfortunately, with ADD you have to push them a lot more and my own push isn't there right now so we are struggling!!!!

Ok, I think that sums it up. I do plan on trying to work on my surgery series of back posts but I'm not making any promises at this point. I figure as long as I get it all finished before I have to return to work... well, I'll be pleased.

Love ya all. Huggles