I'm on the Right Path

As much as I sometimes have my doubts that I'm on the right path, I know with subtle pushes from God that I am on the path he wants me to be. He is with me each and every day and he is giving me the gentle nudges I need when they are most needed. He has been determined to not give me the "painfully obvious" sign that I have looked for from day one but I have no doubt that he is giving me the signs I need when I need them to push forward. How do I know?

I have had thoughts of changing my mind a few times over the past few weeks. When things don't lay into place the way I want them to and my mind gets into a "what in the heck am I doing?" phase. Well, each time I get this way, God sends someone or something my way to gear me up again for the fight. It's like when a team has lost heart and out of no where the fans start cheering. It gears them up to go out there and fight again.

Last night, it was a call from a tumor buddy. I was really struggling and really ready to back out but my tumor buddy called me out of the blue. We talked. We discussed surgery. We discussed our thoughts on diagnosis. Through it all she reminded me that she is happy that I am doing this because she worries about what may be going on up there. I guess that is the kind of kick I need now and then. I have said from day one that I don't give a rip what is in my head. I really don't. Whether it is a grade one or a grade four I don't care. But I know that there are many people out there that are worried about what it is. They need to know so they know how to help me. Truthfully, I know that I need to get ahead of this thing and get it before it gets me but that doesn't make the decision any easier. That's why God has sent me angels each time I need that reminder.

Besides, His angels reminds me that he is holding me during all of this and that he will be right there beside me through it all. I will get through this with the help of God and all of my angels. Some signs don't hit you upside the head but are given to you gently and silently. *Huggles*